The month of October marks the beginning of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness, dedicated to remembering babies lost to stillbirth, miscarriage, neonatal death, and SIDS.

Within this month, the week commencing 9 October is recognised as Baby Loss Awareness Week, a charity-coordinated event that encourages broader communities to extend support and raise awareness.

Baby Loss Awareness Week provides a time for bereaved parents, families, friends, and the general public to unite in memorialising the lives of babies who have been taken too soon, regardless of the cause.

To commemorate this, St Michael’s Myland and St Luke’s Highwoods parishes united to offer remembrances for those suffering from such loss.

Namely, they organised a joint candle-lit service, paying tribute to the wave of light, a worldwide act of remembrance in which individuals light candles in honour of the lives lost during pregnancy, at birth, and in infancy.

This marks the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week and is observed not only through lit candles but also through community gatherings and tributes.

Their service began with an outline of the event’s purpose and a statement that no attendees will be forced to participate and are free to leave at any time to ensure that an atmosphere of safety was established.  Following this, prayers, Bible readings, songs, and poems centred on loss were recited.

For Reverend Janine Wilde, this event was an opportunity to “show people they’re not alone.” The idea of bringing Baby Loss Awareness to St. Michael’s began after seeing a baby loss service conducted in another church, where she “saw how important this was and knew [she] wanted to bring it here”, “not just for congregations, but for support.” 

She continued: “Over the last couple of years I’ve supported quite a few people at all different stages of loss, ranging from women who had suffered a recent loss to older people grieving past losses.” Seeing different forms of the “beautiful and private ways to mark a loss” inspired the transfer of these traditions. 

Subsequently, the gate that faces the churchyard was offered as a memorial wall, with pink, blue, and white ribbons decorating the bars to represent the lost lives. These ribbons remained until 18 October, when they were removed and privately prayed over.

As the week concluded, over 70 ribbons were placed onto the gate, some named and some anonymous.
Throughout this week, the Colchester community gathered at the church, not only to remember the lives lost to such tragedies, but to raise awareness of the significance of the issue.

On average, over 50%, or approximately 25 million individuals in the UK, stated that they had experienced or knew someone who had experienced some form of pregnancy or baby loss. However, despite such a large figure, the topic is still highly stigmatised in the UK, with parents reporting isolation, maternal blame, and questioned identities.

St. Michael’s Church acknowledges this reality, with Reverend Janine affirming that “These things do not get better when hidden up; it takes education and bringing things to light to comfort those who are in loss.”

Historically, certain churches, and society overall have found it difficult to discuss pregnancy and infant loss. “Baby loss is a subject that is avoided because of misplaced shame,” says Reverend Janine. “Grief is felt in ripples and waves throughout family and friends, and we should comfort those that are in loss.”

When discussing the attendees of the service, she stated that “Everyone was welcome, whether they had no faith, a different faith, or the same faith. Although it was a Christian service, it was open for all.”

The participants there ranged from their twenties to their seventies, with some individuals grieving for themselves and others grieving for their loved ones.

Reverend Janine went on to emphasise that “No one was asked to qualify why they were there, as the space was open to anyone and everyone. We catered for all losses, including past experiences of child and infant loss and present.” 

In terms of the community, the overwhelming amount of ribbons towards the end of the week showed an inherently positive response from the local area, and the turnout was described as “beautiful to see”.
Replies showed that many people were relieved by these recognitions, however small or brief.

As well as the attendees, this support also provided significant comfort to the organisers of these remembrances, with the consolation being described as “unable to be measured”. 

Although the pain can never be removed from these circumstances,  the church is primarily “faithful in the small part they play in making the world kinder”, as they believe it is “significant to offer a place to care for all souls” and to undertake the “privilege of caring for people”.

Following the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week, St Michael's will continue to offer their support, informing people of the ‘Saying Goodbye’ charity, a sector of the ‘Mariposa Trust’ that provides a range of support options and comprehensive information to anyone who has suffered the loss of a baby at any stage.