Colchester United fan Matt Calmus on the big FA Cup tie

But will it be a derby match to remember or just a bonfire of all our vanities, come Guy Fawkes' night?

Knockout football seldom gets more local, or parochial. You've gotta love it.

Just 15 miles separates us, marking this fixture out as the shortest distance ever being travelled by any U's iteration to fulfil the competition's demands.

Sudbury are also semi-pro, at Step 4, circa some 75 places (or thereabouts, results pending) below United in the pyramid.

They're glamorously playing Isthmian League division north, presently on a plastic 3G rubber-crumb pitch.

It'll be relayed as 4G specifically for our match with them. They've a commemorative bespoke shirt, too.

Sparing's started earnestly. Sudbury fans say it'll be a complete cakewalk facing our much-chided, toothless attack.

Meanwhile, some visiting folk think even ticketless souls will take over the entire town and instead annex it for Essex.

War paint out, barbs are already flying: hot ticket event simmers between boarders, ready to boil.

"Suds can clean up in TV battle;" suggests last week's haughty 𝘕o𝘯-𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦 𝘗𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳 frontpage headline.

They'll dream as such, and why not? Last season's first-round ritual humiliation at the hands of Marine FC for Colchester on penalties means they'll take real heart that history can repeat.

Up the U's - Matt Calmus with Colchester United legend Karl Duguid

Is a Cupset again on the cards?

Ask Oxford City (2017), Chelmsford (2012) or even York City (2001), all teams who've likewise beaten us at this stage in recent memory.

Perhaps the ultimate putdown already came an hour after the draw itself was made.

Someone personally told this column Sudbury actually hoped to play League One's fallen giants Sunderland, at the Stadium of Light.

Pin that to your kit-room lockers for motivation, if needed.

The lowest-ranked side still competing this term, Sudbury entertain a goal-shy United side.

That's certainly no way to sell this top-billing BBC clash to wider, soccer-hungry audiences.

But even seasoned optimists would be hard-pressed not to call their own bluff and consider Colchester losing a real, if remote, possibility. Cameras rolling cranks up an obvious pressure.

The U's need a routine win here. Or a win, at any rate, with hope it can jump-start our faltering, deflated league campaign.

Nothing special was apparently happening, either, when Leamington Spa got thumped 9-1 at Layer Road in an eventual promotion year for us, during 2005/6.

These mis-matches can create invaluable momentum.

That joyous November rout was incidentally my dear friend June Green's maiden match.

Although she's sadly no longer here, cup fever caught her imagination and she considered herself a lucky charm to the team thereafter. God bless the magic.

These one-off occasions are unique. Jamie Cureton, who scored on that Leamington-era afternoon, has played striker for both these outfits, so you'd expect he'll be on duty somewhere as a talking head once the studio mic loops finally arrive.

Home boss Angelo Harrop has already said his phone's been off the hook as anticipation sweeps Sudbury.

Colchester's faithful can only hope they're not in for a damp squib display to chillingly offset the nation's fireworks.