It is 15 years since the big black curtain came down on Margaret Wall - but the painful imprint it so vividly left in her memory shows just how frightening depression can be.

Margaret, a vivacious, energetic 41-year-old, has only just "come out" to speak about the illness which struck out of the blue.

She admitted: "It is a skeleton I would have liked to have kept in the cupboard."

In fact, friends advised her not to bare her soul toThis Is Essex.

But Margaret, a committed Christian, knew it was something she had to do to help all the thousands of other people in Essex who have fallen prey to mental illness and who, even in the supposedly enlightened '90s, are still the target of ill-informed stigma and prejudice.

With World Mental Health Day coming up on October 10, the Royal College of Psychiatrists is launching a "stigma campaign", aimed at changing attitudes towards disorders like schizophrenia, eating problems, anxiety, dementia and depression.

While everyone is more than ready to talk about their "trendy" viruses and compare operation scars, mental illness is still a taboo, the great unmentionable.

Margaret said: "By nature I am not a depressive, which is what makes it more frightening. I was so ashamed. But the more of us who keep quiet the worse it becomes."

On the face of it, Margaret had it all - a very happy marriage, two healthy children, no money worries. And that made it worse.

She said: "It would have been much easier to have had something I could hang it on.

"It literally did descend like a cloud. It was autumn and I woke up with it. Suddenly I was robbed of feeling - as if I was operating through a bubble."

Her strong Christian belief just compounded the sense of guilt. She felt her faith should have brought her through. Instead, the depression got progressively worse.

"I felt stripped of every vestige of joy and had an overwhelming sense of fear. I had a sense of de-personalisation, the feeling I had been replaced by an alien."

Somehow, she forced herself out to take her young children to school and get the shopping before collapsing behind her front door in a sobbing, crumpled heap.

Inevitably she came in contact with what she dubs the "pull yourself together brigade". She had been a staunch member, until being engulfed in the black cloud herself.

Margaret said: "I thought someone depressed probably had too much time on their hands. But it would have made no difference if I had won the lottery.

"People say they are depressed without real thought. Clinical depression is far deeper - an illness.

Happily, Margaret responded well to anti-depressants; and her sense of humour and perspective returned.

"It was like a miracle. Within 10 days it was as if the cloud had been pulled up. Where everything had seemed too pointless and so worthless, I regained qualities I had taken for granted. "People talk about anti-depressants being abused but for me they really worked."

The impact clinical depression made on Margaret's life gave her added insight when she took on the post of befriending recruitment workers for Good Companions in Southend. The organisation links volunteers with people suffering from mental illness - some of whom never have visitors.

Margaret said: "We seem to have created a society where it's easy for people to become totally alone. Lots of clients have been in psychiatric hospitals and, sadly, people don't like to visit them there."

Since Good Companions started up a year ago, they have matched 49 partnerships. But now referrals come in daily. Many are visited by social workers and community psychiatric nurses but it's not the same as having a visit from a friend.

One in four people will be affected by mental illness; one in 10 will experience it severely. To ask about joining Good Companion, ring Margaret on 01702 343222.

Picture: Good companion - ex-sufferer Margaret Wall Picture: Stephen Lloyd

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