I'm bringing back the Jumble Sale.

When I was growing up it seemed that everywhere had a jumble sale every weekend. It wasn't so much that they were fairly common or a regular event but rather that they were a ubiquitous entity that took place continuously with no discernible gaps between one or the other either geographically or chronologically.

The local paper was always stuffed with notices, cardboard signs adorned every church hall, posters appeared on school noticeboards, there was hardly a space that wasn't filled with secondhand goods on trestle tables in the whole of Britain every weekend.

The demise of the jumble sale to chronically low numbers appears to have gone virtually unnoticed even by David Attenborough. The species has been in danger of extinction for some years. The introduction of the car boot sale had the same effect as the introduction of the grey squirrel on our native red squirrel population. Here was an aggressive new customer, able to occupy not just the carpark but the adjacent field. The stallholders were there own tradesmen motivated by avarice rather than the higher moral ground of the local church fund. The work of the tireless organising saint to sort and sell donations was redundant.

The killer blow of course came with the introduction of eBay. To the humble jumble sale, eBay proved to be the final nail in the coffin with it's slick online service and it's national grip.

Until today.

Today I can announce the fightback has begun. I am reintroducing the native species but with a new twist of course. This is no ordinary jumble sale (although it is that as well) - this is the jumble sale as a theatrical event. I have invited the artists Hunt and Darton to provide the entertainment.

There will be a genuine fanfare at the opening, catwalk displays by models of donated goods, an expert one-to-one shopping experience in the person of Scottee with his fashion assistant Reggie Roberts and there will be the extraordinary Stacey Makishi on hand. All this with of course the conditional baked potatoes and cups of tea.

To be amongst the first to peruse the goods come to Colchester Arts Centre at 12 noon on 7 January.

If you have goods you would like to donate to this worthy cause, (all proceeds to the chair replacement fund at said venue) we are able to receive goods in person from 3 January and we are able to collect, yes collect in person any unwanted bric-a-brac or Christmas castoffs, clothes, bottles, rag and bone, whatever.

We can collect at any time so please just call me on (07814) 695598 to book A slot for me to come and collect your hand me downs or unwanted good.

The Jumble Sale is alive and well and living in Colchester arts Centre 7 January 12 noon to 6pm.