Growing a baby in your womb and handing it over to a couple who cannot conceive is no easy decision. However, Roselle Moss, 33, from Bocking, has done exactly that. She is a first-time surrogate mum to a couple who could not have children naturally. Roselle is pregnant with twins. Here she talks about why she decided to be asurrogate and the issues it brings. Here is what she told Louise Howeson

AFTER the birth of my second son Dillon, I knew I didn’t want to bring up more kids, but I couldn’t stand the idea of never being pregnant again.

There was something about having a baby growing inside me and feeling the movement of it that I loved. There is a real magic in creating another human life inside of you and so, after Dillon, I started to think about the idea of surrogacy. It felt like giving someone a baby was the most special gift you could give.

I think part of it was that I was an only child and I grew up feeling quite lonely. My mum had a miscarriage at six months and lost a baby girl. It was such a bad experience, she never tried for a baby again. I think there was a space where my sister should have been that was never filled.

It wasn’t that I went into it with rose-tinted glasses. My previous two births weren’t easy. With my first son Rowan I had a third-degree tear, because he was a big baby at 8lbs 11oz and his arm was up near his face when I delivered him.

But time is a great healer and I found that I just forgot all of the pain that I had experienced and wanted to do it again. I had Dillon by Caesarean and I remember saying to the nurses that I could do that all over again in a second. I felt so euphoric.

The feeling of wanting to be pregnant again didn’t go away. I started thinking seriously about surrogacy. It wasn’t until I saw a post on Facebook by the British Surrogacy Centre about a couple who were ‘desperate for a baby’ that I spoke to my husband Ken about it and he was really supportive, so we decided to follow it up. It struck a chord with me. I contacted the centre and they arranged for us to meet the couple. All I knew about them was they were in the 30s and that her problem was related to her womb. She could produce healthy eggs but not fall pregnant. I was nervous to meet them for the first time. They were nervous too, because so much was resting on it. I need not have worried, because we had a strong connection straight away and it felt like fate. We bonded as friends really quickly and so it made it easy to get along with them.

Barrie, who runs the centre, was naughty, because he put me at the head of the table during the meeting and I had lots of questions fired at me. Later he said that he knew if I could handle that pressure, then I could handle being a surrogate.

We decided to go ahead with being surrogate parents and the next step was to have IVF. I had two eggs implanted so there was a better chance of one taking. We found out in October last year, when I was eight-weeks pregnant, that it was twins. I will never forget the raw emotion on their faces. They couldn’t hide how much it meant to them and seeing the man cry was very powerful.

I had counselling with Ken and then the couple had counselling, then we had counselling all together. They wanted to make sure that we were all prepared to do it and knew what it entailed. The counsellor said I had my head screwed on when it came to the idea of being a surrogate parent.

Truthfully, I have not found it difficult to detach myself emotionally. I have known the whole way through that these are not my babies and they are part of my life, but they are not mine to bring up. Also, when I think about the reality of bringing up two boys and twins, it makes me think they’re welcome to have them because it would make me very stressed!

My husband Ken has been great the whole time and he is naturally caring and helpful and will not let me lift a finger to do anything. Friends and family have reacted differently. Some people have said it is a wonderful thing to do for someone. I think a baby is the best gift you can give to someone, but I have never thought of it as a selfless thing to do. It just felt right. I have had one negative reaction from a person who called me selfish. She hadn’t had children, so I think she found it hard to understand the desperation someone would feel at being told they couldn’t have them.

Everything has gone smoothly for us. Ken has been so supportive and helpful and my boys, Rowan, ten, and Dillon, four, understand what I am doing. My blood pressure was high last week, but it is back down now and apart from that I have had an easy pregnancy.

The boys all know and understand what I am doing. The lady bought them a book that explains in child’s terms what surrogacy is. When I say to them ‘whose babies are these?’ they say the couple’s name.

“I am an only child so would never be an auntie, but the couple have said I will be an auntie to the twins. It is great because we are like an extended family. I can’t imagine them not being in our lives now.