Coming back into the Essex side last week after my two-week break, I realised just how different it is playing just as a batsman rather than as captain.

And at that moment I knew I had to stand down as club captain and relinquish the reins of the Championship side to James Foster.

Fozzie had done a good job since he took over in the t20 and to me it was clear my time had come to an end.

There was a committee meeting on Thursday and, with the Championship starting up again on Monday, the captaincy and my role was going to be a pressing issue.

I spoke to Paul Grayson on Wednesday about how I was feeling and my decision was made – it was time to let go and the committee were supportive of my choice.

It was an emotional day, which was made a little easier by them understanding my reason.

I had a fair idea in the back of my mind this would be the outcome, but it was still a sad day when it came, although, at the same time, I felt the shackles come off and can now move on to a new chapter in my life and career.

I have had an unbelievable time as Essex captain and the three years have flown by. I have learned a lot about life and cricket during that time and have so many fond memories – I would say 95 per cent of them have been happy ones.

It’s the start of something new and has come about because I did not succeed in what I set out to do at the start of the summer.

I wanted to improve my volume of runs and I feel I have more to offer as a batsman than I have shown so far and now I have the opportunity to concentrate solely on my batting.

Looking back at the time I spent as captain, I can honestly say there are no regrets apart from what happened to my own game.

There is nothing I would have done differently as a captain and I am quite glad I got out when I did instead of carrying on until the end of the season and struggling along.

I would have been left remembering the hard times but thankfully the last few weeks have not over-ridden the highlights of my spell as captain.

The highlight of my captaincy years has to be winning the Friends Provident Trophy in 2008.

That and winning promotion to division one in the Championship last season are the two stand-out moments and I think the day at Lord’s just pips it.

I can confidently say I am a better captain now than I was when I took over from Ronnie Irani in 2007 – I would certainly hope I am anyway!

I am a more rounded person, having been doing a job which has given me experiences I would never of had in life had I not accepted the role.

Being in charge has meant learning to work with other people and working out what it takes to get the best out of them.

Three years ago I only had myself to worry about but I suddenly found I was having to break bad news to people, whether it was leaving them out of the side or the squad, or explaining why they did not bowl - there is always someone who feels a bit hard done by in sport.

I am a black and white person, though, and was able to tell people straight.

Tactically I am a lot better now and my leading of the team has come on leaps and bounds in the last year.

There is a lot of stress with the job and there can be a snowball effect but I learned to deal with it, with the exception of the effect it had on my batting.

It never reached the point where I was awake all night, devising new field placings or practising the toss of the coin!

I was captain in my age groups but never thought the opportunity would come my way to captain the Essex first team.

Certainly when I was 23 I was not thinking about it and, to be honest, I did not have aspirations to do it either.

However, it suddenly became the be all and end all in my life and is my proudest achievement.

I WOULD like to be Essex captain again – if the circumstances were right.

As long as I was not suffering with the same issues as now and the context was right I would be keen as I think I have done a good job.

Not a lot has changed since James Foster took over from me.

It is hard to put your own stamp on the team when you take over halfway through the season.

Once the t20 campaign is over I expect he will sit down and have a think about how he wants to do the job but until then there will not be much time to analyse because of the fixture schedule.

The other players are not treating me any differently since I stood down and have been great.

I am one of the senior players having been captain and hopefully I will still have some influence on the side.

It has been a quite extraordinary year for county captains, with so many coming and going from the job.

The role does have some perks, though, and you cannot beat the feeling of when your side does well and wins a trophy or competition – it’s a sensation which is not quite the same as a player.

I will never know if I was going to kick on and become a great batsman, instead of becoming county captain and not progressing as I would have liked.

It is hard to say whether I am a better batsman now that when I took over.

I do know that in the last three months my batting has not improved how I would have liked it to.

From last June I did well in the t20 and in four-day cricket but my game has not come on since then and that is now my aim – to find out how good a batsman I can be and how many games I can win for Essex.