THIS week is National Befriending week, when charities such as Age Well East look to recruit new volunteers for relationship-building schemes which strengthen communities and improve lives.

Here, former Gazette chief reporter and deputy news editor, David Woods, talks about his experience and the remarkable couple he befriended.

Over two years ago I took the plunge and volunteered to become a befriender for Age Concern Colchester (now Age Well East).

For some time I had wanted to ‘put something back’ and - after scaling down my work commitments - the time seemed right, especially as the request was to spend about an hour a week befriending.

And I was blessed to be introduced to a wonderful elderly couple called Ron and Margaret Hall.

They met when they were both 15. Ron was not a flash or cocky type but spotting Margaret in the street he went straight up to her and said: “Hello, I like your legs.”

It was totally out of character, but for Margaret it was rather like that famous line from the film Jerry Maguire, “You had me at hello”.

And it was the start of something beautiful and rare which lasted 75 years.

Due to Covid I was only able to get to know Ron and Margaret over the phone initially, but eventually I was able to meet them face-to-face in their home in north Colchester.

What shone through immediately was how much they were still in love.

Having had more than my own fair share of failed relationships and regrets it was wonderful, uplifting and delightful to see a couple who were as strong, united and caring of each other as they were when the average cost of a house was around £1,500.

They were kind, considerate, welcoming and modest, with a great sense of humour. They’d travelled plenty in their prime, when they had clearly had a real zest for life and adventure - the embers of which still glowed in their advancing years.

Ron and I bonded over Chelsea. I loved to hear about his regular trips to watch the team on the terraces of Stamford Bridge, with Margaret often going too.

Ron also told me about his career as a French polisher in grand buildings all over London.

 

David Woods

David Woods

 

Margaret was sharp and smart too, having worked in accounts before becoming a full-time mum. She was quick-witted as well and I sensed she did not suffer fools gladly.

Like so many of that generation, she was not one to moan, though, no matter what ailments she and Ron might be suffering from.

“Now tell me what you have been up to David,” was a regular request on my visits.

Margaret gave her husband and me time together while she went to make coffee and fetch biscuits - taking longer than she needed to because he was not well enough to leave the house and she wanted him to get the most out of my visits.

Such was Ron’s easy and beguiling manner I soon found telling him quite a bit about myself too - including how I was getting on in the world of romance.

Margaret always saw me to the door and waved me off before going back to what was becoming a more and more demanding job of looking after the bed-bound man she adored.

Maybe you have guessed by now, due to the continuous use of the past tense, but Ron and Margaret are no longer with us.

Ron died aged 89 in April after a long battle with Parkinson’s. I was able to visit Margaret a few times on her own afterwards, but it was clear the light had gone out of her life.

She was brave and welcoming and trying her best to battle on alone. Despite grieving her lost soulmate she still inquired about my life and made me a cup of coffee. As we chatted she talked of moving to be nearer her beloved son, John.

One week in June, having tried to ring her all week, I visited her home and when there was no reply I was told by a neighbour that she had died suddenly, having just recently turned 90. She was found exactly two months after Ron died.

It was a shock, but then again it wasn’t.

It was an absolute honour, privilege and delight to get to know a couple for whom love was - and will be - eternal.

Ron and Margaret live on in my memory as an inspiration. Visiting them was never a chore and every single time I drive along Mill Road and pass the turning to their former home, they race back into my thoughts.

Ron was Margaret and Margaret was Ron. I said at the start of this article that I volunteered to befriend because I wanted to ‘put something back’. Ron and Margaret gave me plenty in return and for that I will always be grateful.

For more information on becoming a Befriender, contact Judith Fantousi at Age Well East, on 0300 37 33 333.