Colchester priest shares story of sexual conversion therapy

He was beaten as part of a brutal conversion therapy which aimed to "drive the devil out of him".

He became so unhappy with his life, he attempted suicide.

But now, Mr Adams has spoken out to explain how he found support and friendship after coming out as gay and he confirmed the church is a place of love and community.

Mr Adams oversees churches in Mersea, Wimpole Road, Lexden and as of September, Wivenhoe church.

Speaking honestly, he said he suffered extreme mental health issues and suicidal thoughts as a result of abusive conversion therapy after he told his minister he believed he was gay when he was 18.

Mr Adams grew up in Dudley, Wolverhampton, first experiencing a relationship with God after his parents sent him to a local church.

He said: “I always knew I was different. Aged seven or eight, all the other lads would pretend to have girlfriends. It didn’t appeal to me.

“It was very difficult, I felt different and didn’t know how to talk about it.”

Joe at his Ordination at Birkenhead Methodist Church 27th June 1999

Mr Adams trained for Methodist Ministry in Birmingham, beginning ministry in North Staffordshire, eventually being ordained at Birkenhead Methodist Church. 

It was when he was 18, he approached his Methodist minister, telling him that he was gay.

But instead of comfort and acceptance, the minister told him he was an "abomination" saying: “That’s not of God, that’s of the devil, that’s an abomination to God if you practise a gay lifestyle.”

The minister further told him that he wouldn’t be accepted by God or the church.

The minister then told Mr Adams he ‘didn’t really feel gay’ and that he ‘just needed conversion therapy’.

At this time, Mr Adams had built a life in the church, making a career and many friends. The idea that this could all be taken away was terrifying.

Joe and his partner, Dave on holiday last week in Sorento Italy

Mr Adams said the words made him feel worthless and like a failure even though he had done nothing wrong.

Mr Adams was then sent to a Pentecostal Church for help, because they were said to be "experts" in conversion therapy.

On arrival, he walked up the stairs and was almost immediately subjected to vile taunts by three men.

They then knocked him to the floor and began beating him, screaming for the devil to be removed from him.

Mr Adams said he could not remember how long the beating lasted but when it was over, he was sat on a chair and asked if it had ‘worked’.

He responded ‘yes’, in order to escape a second assault, fleeing and returning to his minister.

The minister then told Mr Adams the therapy wasn’t enough. He was told to "settle down, find a nice woman and have some children’" so that the "gay would go away".

At the time, Mr Adams was a keen Boy’s Brigade officer but he was told that he had to inform the leader, as "gay men were predatory and couldn’t be trusted’".

The psychological damage and humiliation has stayed with him throughout his life, leaving lasting mental scars.

Joe on holiday in Sorento

Mr Adams married a close friend in 1989, the couple had four children. They still remain good friends and get on well to this day.

During this period, Mr Adams said he experienced happy times but everything remained in his mind.

He found it damaging living a life where on the outside, people believed they were the perfect family but on the inside, he was constantly sad and lonely.

Times would get dark and Mr Adams attempted suicide several times. He said: “The idea that you can change sexuality or live as a celibate gay person destroys people’s lives.

“These kinds of things don’t destroy one person's life, it destroys everyone’s around them.”

Mr Adams found the strength to be honest in his life. Now he is happily married to his partner, Dave.

Mr Adams wishes to spread his story to raise awareness of the ordeals that many do not speak of.

He also wanted to tell of the beauty of loving God and that his ordeal is not reflective on the church as a whole.

He said: “My biggest mistake was thinking I was alone and that no-one would understand.

"As soon as I came out I realised there was so much help around, that I'd never noticed.

“The church is a place to find friendship, the churches in Colchester are full of kind, loving caring people. I’d hate people to think that it wasn’t the case.

“I hope that we can find a way to be more inclusive. It’s not just about same sex relationships, we are meant to affirm everyone and be a community together.

“Talk about your experiences, don’t hold them in. There are lots of people who can help. Most people wouldn’t care, or judge two hoots and just want to be friendly to  you.

“If you want to find a church, come looking for us. There is an inclusive church network that affirms and welcomes LGBTQ+ people.

“There’s so many places where you can find where you’re welcomed. There are people in the church who want to be kind and loving."