Number plates have changed a great deal over the years columnist ALAN HAYMAN recalls the days when you could spot an Essex man by his number-plates

DOES anyone recall how Essex once had its own car number-plates? Back in the day, if the letters NO or VX were included in the numberplate, it meant that a particular car had been registered in God’s Own County.

On long and dull holiday drives to other parts of England, spotting interesting number-plates on other cars was one way I fended off madness as a kid. And other families venturing far from Essex by road always got a wave and a cheer from our elderly Austin 7 if we saw the magic letters NO or VX displayed on their cars. It wasn’t just the letters that were a giveaway.

In those days the numbers also held clues to the provenance of a motor car. For instance, when we finally acquired a brand new Ford Prefect (remember them?), the number-plate proudly told the world that it was the 6290th new car sold to the public by the motor traders of Essex.

Anyway, that was then and this is now. Those motoring links to individual counties like Essex have long ago been dumped in the skip by the march of time and the relentless growth of car ownership. Several decades ago, it became clear that far more number-plates were needed than the old system could generate.

That brought a switch to numberplates featuring the model year - strongly favoured by those who felt the need to tell the world that they’d just acquired a brand new set of wheels. Car dealers also liked being able to boost their sales by offering new plates twice a year to their potential customers.

So far, so good. But how to go on filtering out the ever-growing torrent of rude number-plates thrown up year after year by the new system? The old Ministry of Transport used to have a small team of smutty-minded civil servants tasked with stopping plates like BUM 1 or POO 2 ever being seen on the public roads.

Their successors at the DVLA in Swansea face a far harder task now people have started using their number-plates to make political statements about current issues.

That meant that last year, not only FA71 NNY went on the banned list. So did AN71 VAX. And with the embers of the Brexit debate still smouldering, EU71 BAD did as well.

The enterprising wordsmiths at Auto Express magazine regularly send Freedom of Information requests to the Government so they can keep abreast of the DVLA’s latest bans on Bad Boy numberplates. Their latest inquiry reveals that 343 new ones were added this spring. Some are very amusing, but don’t belong in a family newspaper.

Others include combinations linked to the pandemic such as CO22 VD. The Agency says it holds back the issue of any numberplate that may “cause offence and embarrassment, or be in poor taste”. Good luck with that, as it may not leave much on offer. Nearly everything on broadcast and social media with more bite than the Teletubbies offends someone or other these days. So why single out the humble number-plate?

Finally, for the man (and indeed the occasional woman) who has everything, a personalised numberplate could be just what’s needed to complete their happiness. They are made available five times a year at the auctions run online by the DVLA. If grateful readers wish to buy me one, the website says HAY 6X is currently up for grabs with a starting price of £350.