Meet the Colchester officiant who fights for marriage law reform

But for Shelley Bell they are linked as they are all slightly unusual themes of weddings she has officiated at.

Shelley, 45, who lives in West Bergholt, has been a celebrant for five years, leading not only weddings, but also namings and funerals.

Unlike humanist officials, Shelley is an independent celebrant, which means she offers a greater choice of ceremonies featuring religious and cultural elements.

And what sent her on the officiant career path was her own bittersweet experience with people officiating ceremonies.

She said: “When I got married, we had a lovely day, but we felt the ceremony was very regimented and prescribed.

“We also attended a family funeral and there was an officiant who got the deceased’s name wrong a couple of times.

“He was talking about them in a way the family members couldn’t actually recognise.

“You only get one go at a funeral and in most cases one go at a wedding and it is really important to be able to get it right.”

Officiant - Shelley Bell, 45, of West Bergholt has been a celebrant for more than five years

According to Shelley, the key to the perfect ceremony, whether a wedding or a funeral, is always the same – spending time with the family.

She said: “When it comes to weddings, you need to get a gist of who they are as a couple.

“With a funeral, a similar thing applies. You have to understand from their friends and family what made that person special.

“And most of us don’t really have anything major in our lives that separates us, so we can be just a mum, a nun or a good friend – but that is as important as being a rocket scientist.

“Everybody has value and has meant something to someone and it’s about recognising that.

“I know I have done a good job when someone says ‘How did you know so and so’.”

What Shelley feels particularly strongly about is the outdated marriage law in England and Wales, which goes back to 1836.

The current rules indirectly discriminate against some religious groups by requiring ceremonies to take place in a registered place of religious worship for them to be legally binding.

The law also provides no means by which weddings conducted by celebrants are legally binding.

Back in 2020 the Law Commission launched a consultation into the marriage law, the findings of which will be published this July.

If a reform does take place, the legal right to conduct the marriage will be with the individual rather than the premises, as it is now.

Shelley is encouraging everyone to write to their local MP and draw their attention to the report.

She said: “If you want to marry out in the open because you love it, you can’t because you need to have a permanent structure to get married under.

“It has to have a roof and it has to have a door or an escape route in case you change your mind,” Shelley laughs.

“If you want a celebrant to lead your wedding, you need to see a register at some point to legalise your wedding and your marriage and some couples can’t afford to do two ceremonies.

“This marriage reform needs to reflect the way the world works at the moment and the fact we are not all ‘a white British man and a woman’.”

But Shelley is hopeful about the future of marriages.

And more than thrilled about her celebrant calling.

She added: “In my job I am bit of a journalist, comedian and actor.

“My values are all about integrity because you are dealing with people’s life events.

“That’s what makes my job interesting - it is always different.”

l To find out more about Shelley and her work, visit www.shelleybell.co.uk