“It’s just bad luck”, doctors told Laura after each one of her four miscarriages.

Laura Bradshaw, 33, is a Colchester blogger who had to suffer the unbearable pain of picking up her heart off the hospital floor while experiencing recurrent baby losses.

More than one in five pregnancies in the UK ends in miscarriage every year, and as tragic and as shocking that figure is, Laura feels like baby loss is still a taboo.

By the time she got to her fourth miscarriage, she came to realise how little everyone spoke about something which was so common.

To open up the conversation, Laura poured her heart into Just Bad Luck – a website she created to offer support to anyone feeling alone, lost or confused after experiencing baby loss or fertility issues.

Gazette: By the time she got to her fourth miscarriage, Laura came to realise how little everyone spoke about something which was so commonBy the time she got to her fourth miscarriage, Laura came to realise how little everyone spoke about something which was so common

Just a year after the website was launched, thousands of people have reached out to Laura for advice and to share their story online.

She said: “The first time I spoke about my miscarriage was over a YouTube video and the response I got to that was insane.

“I had people messaging me every day saying they have been going through the same thing.

“When I left the hospital, I had no support really and what I found out with each miscarriage is that there were no nurses and doctors telling me what to expect.

“I even remember seeing a sign ‘If you are coming with an early pregnancy loss, then you don’t go to A&E’ and I thought ‘Then where do you go?’.”

The first time Laura suffered a miscarriage was in 2017 just a month before she and her husband Chris Bradshaw, 40, got married.

Gazette: Laura and Chris Bradshaw tied the knot in 2017Laura and Chris Bradshaw tied the knot in 2017

She had another miscarriage later that year and went through the same pain twice again in 2018, with all four losses being before the 12-week mark.

With each recurrent miscarriage, the joy of finding out she was pregnant was slowly replaced by fear.

She said: “My second miscarriage is what hit me the hardest. I had all of the doctors telling me the statistics that the next time would be fine.

“By the time I had four miscarriages, it was almost like a dread feeling rather than a happy one.

“You just feel like the world is telling you that this is not what you need to do.

“And really it’s not you. It is very hard to stay positive after so much pain and loss all the time.”

According to Laura, this type of pain puts a strain on every relationship - be it with a partner, friend, or family.

Gazette: According to the couple, the best way to deal with miscarriage is to speak with your partnerAccording to the couple, the best way to deal with miscarriage is to speak with your partner

Laura and Chris haven’t given up on having a baby, but have decided the best way forward would be to step back from trying for a little while.

She said: “After the fourth miscarriage, we said we need some time away from this.

“It got to a point where we were trying, but it was in a negative manner, because we were asking ‘What’s the point if we are going to have all this pain again?’.

“But having time away from it is really hard, you have to force yourself.

“It becomes like an obsession because when you want a family and you want to be a mum, you have no choice but to keep trying.”

The best medicine Laura and Chris found to numb the pain was simply talking to each other.

But opening up about your pain can be tricky, especially for some men who feel they are expected to simply sweep their feelings under the rug.

Colchester MP Will Quince has been campaigning to break this taboo after the painful personal experience of his son Robert’s still birth in 2014.

Gazette: Will with daughters Catherine and AnnieWill with daughters Catherine and Annie

Mr Quince said: “There is still a feeling that the man has to hold everything together and be strong for the family and that is not right.

“The feelings just bottle up if you don’t express them. I want men to open up and talk about it.

“There are too many relationship breakdowns after the loss of baby.

“There are women who do the same thing - some will throw themselves into work, others will want some time off - we all grieve differently, but it’s important to have somewhere to channel your feelings into.”

During the 21st week pregnancy scan, Mr Quince’s son was diagnosed with Edwards’ syndrome, a genetic disorder which means most babies will die before or shortly after being born.

He added: “We had the option of either a termination at that point or to proceed with the pregnancy and we opted for the latter in the knowledge of what was likely to happen.

“It was 41 weeks and sadly our son Robert was stillborn at Colchester Hospital.”

Since this tragedy, Mr Quince has been campaigning for better bereavement care.

In 2016, he joined other MPs who have also suffered such a loss to form the All Party Parliamentary Group on Baby Loss to use their experience to improve the lives of others.

He also helped pass the Parental Bereavement Leave Bill, which allows parents a minimum of two weeks paid leave after the loss of a child.

Gazette: Will also ran the London Marathon for SANDS, stillbirth and neonatal death charityWill also ran the London Marathon for SANDS, stillbirth and neonatal death charity

Mr Quince, who has two daughters, has also shared how losing a child leaves a permanent scar on you when you try to have a baby again.

He said: “It gives you a huge sense of nervousness.

“From the point you think you might be pregnant to the run up to the 20-week scan, your heart is in your mouth.

“When our subsequent child was born, we didn’t make it to the hospital on time.

“She was born at home and I was terrified of the same thing happening again.”

Mr Quince has also encouraged employers to do their best and support workers experiencing the same emotional turmoil.

He added: “They are going through the most horrific ordeal that is difficult for everyone to understand.

“If you give your staff member the time to come to terms of what has just happened and grieve, they will repay you tenfold in loyalty because they will never forget the way you treated them during the worst time of their life.”

 To learn more about baby loss, visit babyloss-awareness.org.