How speaking out saved Colchester veteran whose army career ended

A perfect storm of events had left his life in freefall, compounded by the shattering news he was paralysed from the waist down.

Having developed a neurological illness during his time in the army, it was the outcome he was dreading.

From that point on, he knew things would never be the same again. 

It ended his military career and while living with the condition was hard enough, he found the impact on his mental health even tougher.

But, ten years later, everything changed after attending a course run by Help for Heroes.

He heard another veteran trying to express their feelings and it was an epiphany moment.

For Stephen, now an ambassador for the charity, it normalised what he was going through.

It was the catalyst to finally talk about what he had kept to himself for so long, reach out for help and start processing what had happened.

“Two weeks ago it was the 13th anniversary of when I hit rock bottom and wondered what was the point of carrying on,” said the 37-year-old former Royal Engineer, who spent time at the former Chavasse VC House Recovery Centre, in Berechurch Road, Colchester.

“Thanks goodness I’m still here and I’m so grateful to everyone at Help for Heroes. The charity has helped me get where I am today and, for that reason, I’ll always be passionate about it.

“It’s made a massive difference to me and I see the power and magic of its work.

“What I’ve gone through has made me passionate about mental health issues as I believe that for many soldiers who have taken their lives, things could have been different if they’d only asked for help.

“Certainly prior to attending the course I buried my feelings very deep. I lost sight of things.

“But after overhearing that conversation, everything changed.

Read more >> Recovery centre will remain closed to military veterans “for the foreseeable future”

“I felt capable of sharing my emotions and having meaningful conversations about my issues changed things forever. It was a turning point. I’ve never felt that way again and gone on to lead a positive life, albeit different to the one I planned.

“I’ve gone on to do lots of public speaking about things, like mental fitness and resilience, and it’s allowed me to move on and move forward.

“I wouldn’t change what happened.

“It’s not perfect, obviously, and I’m still upset that my military career is over.

“I look back with such pride. It was the best job in the world and all I ever wanted to do. I didn’t have a plan B.

“However, I believe everyone has their own ups and downs.

“We all face challenges and our lives can go in different directions.”

Stephen, who joined the Armed Forces when he was 19 and had postings in Germany and Woodbridge, had only recently got married when finding out about his paralysis, in 2008.

He believes taking the first step to speak out is the hardest thing for people to do, especially for those in the Armed Forces.

Now he is keen to encourage others to do the same.

He has been supported throughout his journey by Help for Heroes and is keen to share his story and encourage people to dip into their pockets and support tomorrow’s Armed Forces Day.

He wants to do his bit to help other wounded and sick veterans and their families.

A national collection is being arranged by Help for Heroes - its first since before the Covid pandemic.

In conjunction with Tesco, collections will take place across the country and Colchester residents can show their support at the Tesco Extra store, in Highwoods Square, Highwoods.

The collection is taking place tomorrow and Sunday.

“Thankfully, we’re no longer seeing images on TV of injured personnel coming home from war, but for many of these people the battle is still being fought,” said Stephen, who now works in marketing and has an eight-year-old daughter, Isabella.

“I’ve seen for myself how Help for Heroes has been there for so many people like me. They need to be there for anyone else who takes that step to ask for help.

“By donating at Tesco on Armed Forces Day weekend, you can make sure wounded veterans and their families get the support they need, for as long as they need it.

“Having that support has changed everything for me.

“There are still moments when you want to throw the towel in but I focus on the positives and find reasons to pick myself up.”

There have been six previous national collections for Help for Heroes, raising £1.4 million.

Anyone who would like to donate to support Armed Forces Day but is unable to visit a Tesco store can still donate via gtap.uk/62/tes215