The sigh is open to interpretation. There’s a lot of different ways you can sigh. There’s the sigh of regret, the sigh of frustration, the sigh of delight....

One way or another I’ve been surrounded by sighing all my life. I’ve become pretty good at it myself. You could call me an expert. A sighing black belt if you like.

The sigh most often heard in our household comes from my wife. It is the sigh of resignation.

Similar but subtlety different from the sigh of despair this is a hybrid sigh. I do hear it quite a lot.

It takes as its starting point the sigh of frustration but then mixes it with the sigh of acute irritation.

Both very fine sighs of their own accord but blended together they make a very potent combination.

She usually accompanies it with a withering stare. It’s really quite something.

Here are my top five sighs.

In reverse order:

At No 5

The sigh of remembrance

This sigh usually complements a fond memory, an evocation of time gone by, the vocal expression of affectionate recollection.

It has a comforting and reflective quality. Try it yourself. Choose any cherished memory and sigh.

At No 4

The sigh of satisfaction

Always a very popular sigh this one. Suitable and fitting when deployed in numerous different situations.

It is a versatile and user friendly sigh. It can be adapted to both short term satisfaction, finding your glasses for instance or longer term contexts, completing a college course perhaps.

At No 3

The sigh of joy

Given the accompanying emotion you might well have expected this one to top the sighing charts.

What could be better than a sigh of joy? You could certainly argue this. But for me this sigh is a little two-dimensional. There is no real depth of variation in the delivery.

At No 2

The sigh of boredom

This ranks so highly solely for the fact that I once heard it so magnificently delivered my our child Reggie whilst watching a dreadful show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

It was so loud. So long. So apt.

It so perfectly reflected what the entire audience were thinking but were too polite to give voice to.

And at No 1

The sigh of desolation

This sigh conveys a complete resignation to the bankruptcy of human existence.

It signals, within the sigher, the cataclysmic end of all hope, the collapse of sanguinity, the cementing over of any last vestige of redemption. It heralds a moribund world.

Devoid of love. Devoid of faith. Desolation and destitution are all we have left. I love this sigh.

Now this may appear a surprising choice as a chart topper but it has a particular affection for me for a specific reason.

My Dad was the greatest exponent of the sigh of desolation I’ve ever heard.

Growing up I would hear him bemoaning the world every morning whilst shaving.

He would talk to himself aloud, his voice spilling out across the landing (for some unknown reason he kept the door open), preparing for the day ahead with pessimistic half sentences and mournful phrases, frequently interspersed with the immaculately delivered sigh of desolation.

For me, growing up, the parental home was my place of security, my nest, my haven.

Every morning I would wake to the smell of bacon sizzling in the kitchen accompanied by this quiet soundtrack of despondency from across the landing.

It was very comforting.

So for me the sigh of desolation has very reassuring connotations. Dad’s in the bathroom, Mum’s in the kitchen and all is right with the world.

Without doubt it’s my No. 1 sigh.