IN October 2016, Ben Doré was standing over a bridge on the A120, and it was raining.

Slowly lifting his feet off the ground, he told himself it would be better to end his life than face more years of depression.

The second his feet were in the air he realised what a mistake he was making.

Almost two years later, after finally seeking help from a doctor, the former Colchester Institute student is inspiring others to speak out.

Ben, 19, from Rayne, said his feelings of depression started when he was 11 years old, after both his mum Suzanne and brother Sam had both been diagnosed with cancer.

Suzanne was told she had bowel cancer as the family began to celebrate Sam, overcoming a rare cancer.

Ben said: "I was quite young and I had been through a traumatic time. At 11 years old you don't know how to deal with emotions so I didn't really talk about it.

"When I started going through school I realised I wasn't feeling OK.

"My dad Chris and I were referred to counselling in London but it was not helping, it was just a one-time thing."

He described the emotions as a sound wave, peaks and troughs.

Where he felt he had to ignore it, the feelings grew progressively worse.

The mixture of anxiety and depression culminated into an attempt to end it all, on a rainy day in October 2016.

Ben said: "I used to walk home from work every day, I live on a road which is close to a bridge over the A120.

"One day I just walked straight past my house, and walked up to the top of the bridge.

"I stood there for a while, and put my hand over the railing, starting to lift myself up.

"I took both feet off the floor, and then realised it wasn't right. It was stupid."

Up until that second, Ben had felt like a burden to his friends and family.

It was only when he went to action his thoughts he realised it was not the best solution.

"I went home and didn't tell anyone, it was just a normal day.

"No-one would have known what had just happened," he said.

It was not until a year later, when he had reached another low, that he told his dad everything.

He said: "It was something a small as my dad sitting at the kitchen table with me, he asked me if I was OK and I just said no.

"I must have looked deadly serious, because he asked me what was wrong and then everything came out.

"When I told him what I had tried to do, it all became very real."

He said he was blessed to have a family who responded positively, and reassured him he could go to them any time.

He changed his diet and exercise regime in the first instance, before having his first appointment with a doctor on Wednesday last week.

The trainee technical co-ordinator, who works in Braintree, has been referred to a psychiatrist in Chelmsford.

"It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It was this dark secret, this thing I couldn't tell anyone about because they would have viewed me differently.

"I try and always be the funny guy but sometimes I really don't feel like that.

"Now I have said to everyone this is how I feel, it has taken so much pressure away. It is out there now and people can make their own judgements."

He advised anyone in his position to nip the feelings in the bud at the earliest opportunity.

He said: "My message to anyone experiencing the same thing is just talk to someone, it doesn't have to be a medical professional.

"Talk to your friends or family, it is the best way.

"A problem shared is a problem halved."

Mum Suzanne said the experience had hit home how mental health can affect people you would not expect.

She said: "Ben is truly wonderful, kind, caring, hilariously funny and fun to be with, good looking and smart.

"Which is why it’s such a shock to some to know he suffers from depression and anxiety.

"Depression chooses you, not the other way round."