I RECENTLY heard about a troubled family where the wife was considering divorce.

Years ago Britany married into a large foreign family. There were treats to start with and the prospect of a better life so she got into Brussel’s bed with enthusiasm.

But that waned as Brussel started to become more domineering and kept dipping into Britany’s purse.

She was further upset when lots of her partner’s family moved in making the place cramped and changed the character of her home.

Realising she had married something of a control freak Britany decided on divorce.

Britany thought she was on safe ground but not all her family were supportive and Brussel’s side were livid.

They saw Brussel as wise and benevolent father.

Nicky from Scotland and Libby were particularly troublesome. (Many thought Nicky was getting too big for her boots).

By taking Brussel’s side, the prospect of a decent divorce settlement became harder.

Britany eventually had enough of the arguing and decided her side should vote on who should handle the divorce and manage affairs at home.

They could choose from: TM PLC - the current firm and favourite to win so long as the boss controls the crackpot elements and doesn’t start wearing her flip flops.

Or JC Limited - their leader, when interviewed on his vegetable patch, said he would put his best team on the job when he could get them talking to each other.

TF Friendly Society is also pitching although they don’t have their heart in the idea of divorce. From his home on Wind Farm, TF said he would prefer mediation and counselling.

Worried about losing handouts from Brussel, Nicky is planning to drown out the argument with bagpipes and stomp off in her high heels to do her own thing.

Apparently it will come to a head on June 8. Britany will then stick with her current advisors and divorces plan, or change them and continue the fraught relationship with Brussel.

Whatever the outcome, we know Nicky won’t be satisfied with her lot. The rest will then want to call her bluff.

Nick Chilvers Canwick Grove, Colchester

  • I say 'no thank you' to pesticide poison

I READ with concern the article by Peter Fairs in the Gazette (Friday April 21) extolling the virtues of glyphosate herbicides.

Pesticides are poisons. Their whole purpose is to kill insects, weeds, fungi and other unwanted plants.

Mr Fairs failed to mention that 19.5 per cent of UK wild flowers are threatened with extinction according to a 2005 survey by some of Britain’s leading conservation bodies.

Along with the loss of 97 per cent of our wildlife meadows since the Second World War, increasing use of herbicides is a major cause of this.

Intensive farming methods are devastating biodiversity in our countryside.

Mr Fairs suggests without pesticide use more land would need to be farmed. Yet since the war we have seen both extensive destruction of wildlife sites and hedges in the drive for more intensive farming as well as increased pesticide use so his argument doesn’t work.

All this at a time when UK households throw away £13 billion worth of food per year as waste. Reducing this might reduce the need to farm every spare inch intensively.

Glyphosates started life in the Sixties as a pipe de-scaling agent before being re-patented in 1969 as a herbicide by Monsanto.

More than 30 per cent of bread in the UK contains traces of it and in 2013 Friends of the Earth Europe commissioned a German lab to study human urine samples in 18 countries and found glyphosates in 44 per cent of samples. Proving a substance is carcinogenic is a difficult process because long-term human trials are unethical and tests on animals inconclusive.

It took decades to link tobacco with cancer conclusively.

Yet we are expected to take a risk with our food and with spraying glyphosate over parks and pavements when studies have suggested that it is toxic to fish and according to the International Agency for Research on Cancer it has been linked to tumours in rats.

No thank you.

Mark Goacher Colchester Green Party Morant Road, Colchester

  • West Tey is in worst place for pollution

Some of your readers will have noticed Sue Hayman, Labour shadow spokesperson on the environment, has come out strongly against air pollution.

The report, commissioned by the Labour party says 59 per cent of the population suffers from the extremes of air quality.

Take a look at the positioning of West Tey and anyone would conclude that it is one of the worst places in Essex for a garden community.

In fact in 2008, the Lib Dem/Labour coalition highlighted air quality as one of the reasons not to build houses at West Tey.

In view of the Hayman Report and what we now know about the perils of poor air quality, surely the Labour Group at Colchester Council should reconsider the wisdom of backing the proposed massive development.

Giles Coode-Adams OBE Coggeshall Road, Feering

  • Voting is only way to remove the problems

There have been umpteen letters from readers commenting on the shortcomings of Colchester Council.

It might be a good idea to remind people they can turn up to vote in the forthcoming county council elections - all parties are keen on that.

Judicious use of the ‘x’ can remove the problems.

Bob Dove Launceston Close, Colchester

  • Sorry to see how the town is now

I AGREE with the letter from Mr Tate about police and yobs.

My husband gave up driving at Christmas. We sold his large Honda and bought me a Mitsubishi Colt.

I had not moved a car forward in 20 odd years so I had some refresher lessons in February and March.

It was daunting at first but I had a wonderful instructor and now go solo.

I chose to park my nice little car on the Marine Parade near my house as my small drive is narrow and reversing out, there are three roads to navigate.

The cars also wait on Donkey Hill to come up in a line as you venture out.

This morning, going past my parked car with my shopping trolley, I glanced over and to my horror could see it had been vandalised.

The back window had been smashed to bits and most of it was on the road.

My husband, who was with me was more upset than I was.

We do have a lot of this nonsense vandalism here.

I was bred and born here, I love Dovercourt and I am also sorry to see it the way things are. Perhaps the window breakers can tell me why it is fun to do this to an elderly couple which robs them of their transport and has to be repaired.

When asked by the police to talk to neighbours to see if they saw or heard anything one of them said it had happened to him three times.

I rest my case.

Jennifer Griffiths Fronks Road, Dovercourt