HECKLERS beware – if stand-up Alfie Moore gets too much abuse, technically he could “nick” you.

That’s because Alfie is still a serving police officer based in Scunthorpe.

He’s on a three-year sabbatical from the force to see if he can make it as a stand-up and so far, Alfie’s doing pretty well.

Following a run on the hit ITV comedy talent show, Show Me The Funny, Alfie now has an agent and his very own 20 date-tour, which includes an appearance at the Colchester Arts Centre this weekend.

The show, entitled I Predicted A Riot, will eventually be performed at the Pleasance Theatre at the Edinburgh Festival this summer.

Alfie says: “I wrote a show last year called I Predict A Riot, which I had planned to perform at the Edinburgh Festival, but as Show Me The Funny was filming then I decided to re-write the original version incorporating last summer’s riot in to the show.

“The show takes a humorous look at riots and protests throughout history, including the Nika Riot in 532AD, which was the largest recorded in history. It saw half of Constantinople raised to the ground and 30,000 Roman citizens killed.

“I also discuss police tactics and include my own personal experiences of public disorder, including the Bradford Race Riots of 2001.”

Alfie got the comedy bug five years ago after his wife took him along to a comedy club in Scunthorpe.

“She’s always liked live comedy,” he adds, “but it was the first time I had ever been.

“I just had the most amazing time and then my wife saw the look in my eye and said, ‘You’re not thinking of trying this are you?’ “It was too late – I was already planning my first gig.”

His experience as a police officer has come in very handy on stage, not only for material but also when it comes to dealing with the pressure of appearing in front of an audience. He says: “I have certainly learned how to remain calm under pressure. A police officer and stand-up are not too dissimilar.

“Cops use humour on the streets every day to help calm potentially volatile situations and the most useful tool of any police officer is their communication skills.

“The modern police force wants to be seen to be open and honest. Yes, I sometimes take the mickey out of the organisation, but always with a twinkle in my eye and never in a way that would undermine public confidence or bring the force into disrepute.

“Why would I? I love being a cop, and they have given me a great career for 18 years, not to mention some cracking stories.”

Alfie Moore: I Predicted A Riot is at the Colchester Arts Centre, Church Street, Colchester,today (Saturday), 8.30pm. £10, £8 concessions. Call 01206 500900.