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North Essex: Black magic in churchyard?

7:00am Friday 4th July 2008

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BLACK witches are said to be congregating near a ruined church and having sex in bushes.

Residents are concerned after a growing number of camper vans have been seen parking overnight near the ruined St Peter's Church, in Ford Lane, Alresford.

At a parish council meeting, the campers were branded witches, and accused of hocus pocus activities.

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sunshine, clactooon says...
7:23am Fri 4 Jul 08

Lets see now many guys are now going to be asking for directions to this church?

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Norm, Colchester says...
7:35am Fri 4 Jul 08

It's going to be packed there tonight. Witches? Really? I only ever went there for some straight dogging fun with my pal Stan C. I don't see how the colour of the witches is relevant Ms Parsons.

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Carry on Camping, Alresford says...
7:36am Fri 4 Jul 08

HA..HA..HA..HA..HA..

there i was filling out this form when its security question asks you-
put in what you see...

see what, the rustling in the bushes,
or the illegal camp site thats cheap to park overnight..
If this story turns out to any sort of truth in it whatsoever, you will have thousends upon thousends of the dogging brigade down here for the nigh time entertainments.
This could really put Arlesfords parish council on the map.
Huge fields taken over for camping, dogging watching or whatever is happening.
Or is it just someones just a bit "eager" with what they actually saw one night - perhaps a bit of alfresco night time "enjoyment" in the bushes....
It DOES get hot in a camper van in this heat you know....lol.

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Richard Carter, Dedham says...
7:48am Fri 4 Jul 08

See you tonight boys

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JW, Orsett says...
9:18am Fri 4 Jul 08

No! I'm Spartacus wrote:
Camper Vans near a church? Sounds like pikeys planning to take slates off the roof....
Apart from the fact that there is no roof! :-)

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No! I'm Spartacus, Colchester says...
9:29am Fri 4 Jul 08

JW wrote:
No! I'm Spartacus wrote: Camper Vans near a church? Sounds like pikeys planning to take slates off the roof....
Apart from the fact that there is no roof! :-)
See... the blighters... they've taken it already!!

And I only just looked away to have a mouthful of toast....

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2tic2care, gettoutofhere says...
9:48am Fri 4 Jul 08

was youall dissin ma color, it sure `aint no biss niess you`ll sayin we witches...

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Mr moaner, Purley, Croyden says...
10:00am Fri 4 Jul 08

Not quite sure i like all this joviality about this terrible - terrible scene of events.
How do we know its true, how do we know even if its normal hetrosexual sex and not the other sort, goddnes gracious, the thought of it then becomes almost too much to think about, all this, in a church gardens....
I will have to go and inspect this terrible thing....
film it even, more so if its which witch is which i ask, black ones too..
in the dark, can they be seen i wonder..
How do they arrive there, i`ve heard of cows jumping over the moon, but witches must arrive on broom sticks, complete with pointed hats and flowing gowns...
I will complain elsewhere....
(edited film available from tomorrow for a "reasonable" fee)

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Lucy, Brentwood says...
10:01am Fri 4 Jul 08

I would like to say that being a witch myself I adhere to a motto of "an it harm none so mote it be" as do the morjority of Wiccan witches, a true witch means harm to noone and does her very best to adhere to that. Im not perfect none of us are.

I take great offense to yet another vicar who cannot accept people of another religion and live in harmony with the environment like religious people are surpose to do.

A sound in the bushes - hows about foxes? or the night wind? and for the records they were probably travellers or just people having fun so whats the problem??

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Ted Bovis off of Hi-De-Hi, Colchester says...
10:22am Fri 4 Jul 08

I was going to comment, but you seem to all be doing okay by yourselves.

Hi-De-Hi campers.

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Colonel Blimp, A barracks full of men says...
10:37am Fri 4 Jul 08

I don't know what this world is coming to! Witches in Essex? Performing black masses in church grounds! Naked apart from chains and leather collars! Acting out their perverted fantasies on willing nubile lesbian acolytes! Orgies! Orgies! Orgies! Orgies! Orgies! Mummy! Orgies! Orgies!

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Dog Walker, The Graveyard says...
10:40am Fri 4 Jul 08

Thank you Emily for giving the game away now Fido will have to do without his nightly walk.


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Tim Wesrwood, Da hood says...
10:40am Fri 4 Jul 08

Holla up dawgs, its your boy Westwood. **** that joints hot, straight up gangster, for real. Thats some serious pimpin....in other words I'll be heading down the church about 8.30pm tonight if anyone would like me to pimp their camper van. I'll also have some cakes and biscuits for after so please dont worry. The bombs about to off baby, its how we does it.

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Deviant, Essex says...
11:44am Fri 4 Jul 08

Wicthes or sexual fantasy?

Been to this church a few times in my youth.

Its just a place youngsters go to have a sh@g.

Places I have done it here:-

1) In the car park over the bonnet of my car

2) Inside the church where the alter would have been

3) On a table grave at the front

4) On the grass above a grave at the back

5) More than a few times in the fields at the back

I would like to state I am not a witch or practioner of black magic.

But I will own up to being a sexual deviant.

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