A man, who had never sailed before, smashed a boat into rocks just six miles into a planned 168-mile trip.

The “sailor”, dubbed Captain Calamity, later told authorities he had no sailing experience whatsoever, and was in fact doing a favour for a friend.

He wanted to travel from Burnham to Portsmouth in a 23ft boat - but only made it onto the rocks at Foulness Island.

This has prompted Southend Coastguard, who had to rescue the hapless skipper, to issue an urgent warning to other wannabe seamen.

A spokesman from Southend Coastguard said: “Local knowledge played an important part when a lone yachtsman called Dover Coastguard to ask for help.

“He told them ‘I’m on the rocks, off Essex. I can see some wind turbines, a fence and lots of farmland’.”

Rescue Helicopter 163, Burnham Lifeboat, Essex Police and the coastguard team were dispatched to the island.

The spokesman said: “On arrival, the vessel was found in its predicted position and the occupant taken ashore before being taken to the shelter of the lifeboat station. Vessel secured, the crews were stood down.

“Crouch Harbour Authority will oversaw the retrieval of the vessel.”

The spokesman added a warning to others.

He added: “We would recommend that people contact the Royal Yachting Association and undertake appropriate training before going to sea.”

A spokesman from Essex Police said: “We were called just after 3.45pm to reports that a man in a boat had run into difficulty.

“Officers from our Marine Unit attended with other authorities.

“No arrests were made.”

The incident took place on Thursday, August 9.

Offshore sailing licences are not needed, but are recommended.