Colchester and Tendring Women's refuge does so much more

The main office is full of Christmas sacks, overflowing with presents for the 21 households there.

I agreed with Lorna King, manager, and Beverley Jones, CEO, who said the name of the organisation was no longer fitting. The staff at the two refuges based in Colchester do so much more than provide a sanctuary.

From April this year, 69 people were seen by the service - an increase from last year which is expected to rise to about 90 before the year is out.

The refuge first opened in 1977, but since April it is no longer Government funded. As well as an increase in the number of women and men seen, there has been a change in trends which is both concerning and reassuring.

Lorna King, who has been manager for about 10 years, said there had been an increase in women over the age of 60.

"Our eldest was 81," she said. "Abuse used to be hidden, it was like the Good Housekeeping Guide. Now elderly people are feeling more comfortable because abuse is identified and there are campaigns to raise awareness.

"They feel they can talk about it, address it and don't have to conform. Wedding vows have now changed and people don't have to 'love, honour and obey' any more."

She told of a lady who is 71, whose husband was very controlling. He wanted to know where she was and who she was with and if he did not like the way she way behaving he would hit her on the head with a plank of wood.

Beverley Jones, who has been in post for about five months, said research shows how people view elderly people differently.

She said: "If an over 70 year old was at her GP saying she was feeling down and her husband didn't treat her very nicely, they would probably say he was just grumpy and it's just part of people old. There are no alarm bells.

"But if a 20 year old was saying there was coercive and controlling behaviour it would be viewed differently. It's about challenging those perceptions."

The kinds of abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual and financial. The refuge has also supported men in the community.

Mrs King said another trend was the number of vulnerable children they are seeing.

"When people call up they have hit rock bottom," she said. "We give them a window of opportunity and we go through everything with them in a risk assessment.

"We get most of our referrals from social services as there are children witnessing abuse at home. I think it's good people feel they can discuss it and they know there is somewhere safe for them to go."

Beverley said it felt like there was a rise in the number of children with social services involvement.

She said: "We have about 42 children here and about 30 of them have active involvement. These are children who have been really damaged by what they have seen or experienced themselves.

"One of the things we are seeing is a lack of parenting skills. The women are disempowered and their ability to parent is taken away from them."

The team now includes a volunteer for parenting support, and the service provides a pre-school where each child has an allocated support worker.

It is incredible to see additional staff considering the refuge has lost its commissioned services. However Beverley said it could be a positive thing as it was worth understanding the impact the Government had.

She said: "They dictated how we operated but since we have become independent we are able to be far more open in terms of drawing people in where there is a need.

"At the moment the Government is consulting on how refuges are funded which could have a devastating effect. More than half could close down. "Because of the nature of it they need to be seen as a national network. If somebody is fleeing in Colchester they need to be able to move somewhere else.

"It would be tying our hands behind our backs."

In order to make sure they continue to support community for as long as the need is there, the refuge is taking a good look at itself.

Beverley said with things like social media having more of an impact on relationships, there could be a need for some time.

"We need to make sure we are fit for the future," she said. "We don't just provide refuge, we do a lot of community work and we cover other areas.

"Our name is not fit for what we are moving forward, we are doing work over Christmas where we are going to really get a look at ourselves, rebrand and understand our purpose until we are not needed."

Social media is a new trend which gives the perpetrators easier access to people who display vulnerability. It is a scary prospect which suggests the refuge could have an even bigger job on its hands in the future.

Beverley added: "If we had the capacity we would do more to capture those teens and give them the ability to make choices.

"They behave like mini adults without realising the implications of what they are doing.

"I'm not sure we can see a time where we will never be needed as there's a whole new generation coming through. We need to catch people early and get in front of the source."

The team is confident it will be able to achieve great things, and praise was given to all the staff who give up their time.

In the near future there will be an exhibition at The Minories called 'You Can't Beat A Woman', which tells the stories of the fundamental founding members of the refuge, whom vulnerable women everywhere have called their saviours.

- To help generate funds the refuge has signed up to Essex County Council's Essex Lottery. Residents can sign up to give £1 a week for a chance to win £25,000 and 50p from every ticket goes to the refuge. To find out more visit www.essexlottery.co.uk and look for Women's Refuge.