Advanced psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist CLAIRE GASKIN sees clients in Essex and in London’s Harley Street. She is now bringing her expertise to the problems of our readers as our agony aunt. If you have a problem you’d like Claire’s advice with, email agonyaunt@nqe.com For more details on Claire’s work, visit benefittherapy.co.uk/

Dear Claire,

I am in late middle age and am not happy with my job or the town I live in and feel time is running out to do much about it.

The problem is that I just don’t trust my own judgement on any decision I’m likely to make. I’ve made big changes in my life before – leaving jobs, relationships and even the country – at various points in my life, but looking back I’m not sure I made the right decision.

I really would like to turn to someone and explain my situation and get some advice. My mother has passed away and father is frail and has his own concerns. I have never had many friends and live on my own. I don’t feel like I’ve got anyone to sound my ideas off and tell me whether I’m being foolish or not.

I read a lot of self-help books that tell me fear is holding me back and I should just make these changes and shock myself into a new life, but I’m just not sure. Can you help?

Claire says...

One of the final regrets people voice is that they didn’t have the courage to live a life which would have made them truly happy.

But, in order to find real contentment, one must dare to take risks.

You have taken a leap into the unknown many times before so I don’t think it is fear which is holding you back. Rather, with youth no longer on your side, you are mindful of not wasting time making mistakes.

It’s natural to reflect on the past and, without a crystal ball to foresee the future, inevitably there will have been occasions where things did not work out as you would have wished.

However, along with bravery you also have resilience, which means you always bounce back, no matter what happens. These qualities, combined, form a strong platform from which to launch new opportunities with confidence.

As you have found, self-help books are no substitute for talking your ideas through with someone and I suggest you invest in a professional life-coach. One session may be all you need to rediscover your verve and create a realistic plan.

Have faith in yourself, and keep courage and resilience close by as you write the next chapter of your life story.