ANITA Bailey from Evesham knew her husband Trevor had a problem when he started to lose his co-ordination.

The former bank executive, who was in his 50s, started having difficulty driving the car. “He had driven since he was 17,” said Anita. “Although his brain was thinking that his foot needed to press the brake pedal, his foot would not do it.

“One day he could not figure out how to get out of a car park. Then one day, he pulled up in a lay-by and could not drive any more. He knew himself something was wrong.”

Anita suggested he went to the GP who thought he had tunnel vision and referred him to an optician but a specialist said it was something to do with the connection between his eye and his brain.

He went back to the GP and was sent for a scan and tests. Eventually a neurologist told them there was something wrong going on in the brain and it wasn’t going to get better. This was ultimately diagnosed as frontal lobe dementia otherwise known as frontotemporal dementia. He was 55.

For Anita it was the start of a double life – carer to her husband and full-time member of staff at the Evesham County Park Garden Centre – for nine years.

“The first two years were not too bad but the other seven years were hard. I dealt with it by going to work. You lead a double life. Going to work was my saviour. I would not give up work. I had a job I enjoyed. I also had to think of the future and finances. I am still making up the years for my pension because of the time I had off having the children,” said Anita.

Some of the early symptoms of frontal lobe dementia include changes in emotion, personality and behaviour.

Anita recalled: “He lost the capacity to have any feelings or emotions. You could not tell if Trevor was happy or sad. He would not laugh at anything. He was here in body but that was it. He did not know who he was.

“He would sit in the chair and watch TV all day long. You could not have a conversation with him. I also had to cut up his food for him because he lost his co-ordination. His personality changed and he could not remember if he had eaten or not.”

Every working day Anita went home at lunchtime to make sure he had something to eat and to change his ileostomy bag. She felt it was her duty to look after Trevor although she did eventually have a carer to help Trevor with showering.

But one of the biggest influences enabling Anita, now 60, to keep going was having help from a local Admiral Nurse. Admiral Nurses are mental health nurses provided by the charity Dementia UK who specialise in dementia care and offer emotional and practical support tailored to each family.

They work with health and social care professionals and voluntary organisations to improve the experiences of those affected by dementia. In Worcestershire there are four full-time and one part-time Admiral Nurses employed by the Worcestershire Health and Care NHS Trust.

Anita said: “The Admiral Nurses really helped because there was so much to sort out. There are things you don’t consider like power of attorney. I had to get that in place while Trevor could still make decisions.

“Your Admiral Nurse is the best help you can get to deal with what will come. They help you to sort your life as the carer of the person having the dementia.

Helen Springthorpe, an Admiral Nurse in Worcestershire for the past 12 years, said: “We tailor our intervention to meet the needs of the individual. We assess the impact of the dementia on the carer and family and what that carer or the family’s needs are. The health and well being needs of the person with the dementia and the carer are uppermost.

Anita said: “They are very good listeners. You get feelings of guilt because sometimes you think about yourself. They help you to deal with the guilt. I had a belief it should be me doing everything and that I did not matter. Trevor had looked after me and supplied me with all I needed through 39 years of marriage. I felt it was up to me to look after him.”

Helen added: “Both people are experiencing changes and it is a period of adjustment. It is important for you to work through your thoughts and feelings. There is a lot of work helping carers to adjust to the changes in the relationship, planning ahead and looking at what is likely to happen.

“We also helped to equip Anita with all the things she needed for every day care. We act as the bridge between the services. You cannot take a one size fits all approach to dementia.”

For the last year of his life, Trevor lived in a specialist dementia care home in Worcester. He died aged 64 in August 2014.

Anita said anyone who is faced with caring for someone with dementia needs to make sure they get help from Admiral Nurses and look after themselves.

“People need to be aware there is help out there. Also, not only do you have to look after the person with dementia but you have to look after yourself because you have to be fit enough physically and mentally to deal with it.”

She said she also had an exceptional manager at work was very understanding and helpful if she need to attend medical appointments. He also showed genuine concern for her welfare.

Anita is now helping to raise money for Dementia Uk. So far she has raised between £3,000 and £4,000 through a charity walk, fashion shows, a tea dance, quiz evening, the Dementia UK Time for a Cuppa campaign and a car boot sale.

She is also doing some of the activities she and Trevor planned to do before he had dementia – including a trip to Disneyland Paris with her family and re-visiting Jersey where she and Trevor had a very happy time.

• Frontotemporal dementia is an uncommon type of dementia estimated to affect around 16,000 people in the UK.

• Frontotemporal dementia often starts at a younger age than usually seen in other types of dementia. Most cases are diagnosed in people aged 50-65, but it can also affect younger or older people.

• Early symptoms of frontotemporal dementia typically include changes in emotion, personality and behaviour. For example, someone with this type of dementia may become less sensitive to other people’s emotions, perhaps making them seem cold and unfeeling.

• They may also lose some of their inhibitions, leading to behaviour that is out of character, such as making tactless or inappropriate comments.

• Some people with frontotemporal dementia also have language problems. This may include not speaking, speaking less than usual or having problems finding the right words.